man... i can't sleep right now... i'm thinking about "it", again... i don't know, the pain's growing on me, again... but as i vent out on this blog, i have to come to a conclusion that... even though i'm giving up on something that i want so much, i know i have to let go for the sake of her own happiness. i just want her to be happy... that's all i care about. and that's how much i care about her. i do regret not showing such an affection for her. but like she says, "next time..." i'm not looking forward to another next time, but i will continue to pray for her joy to be healthy and light. i know God set a purpose for many things... and He doesn't make flaws. i wish i can see the premonition of love... but love is God. and God is very unpredictable. so i will never know who that next girl might be... i just know that i will have to make risks to find out... ... i can't tell her how much i wish to be with her... i can't tell her how much of a guardian angel she's been to me... i can't tell her that her seed she placed in my heart, has grown into a delicate rose... i dream for so many things... and yet, they can only remain dreams... =( i dunno. i guess things are meant to stay inside the store, if you know what i mean. but no matter what, my level of love for her will never change. i thank her so much for filling a myriad of pages in the book of my life so far. and i hope to see the upcoming chapters... if you know who you are, thank you for everything you've given to me. i hope i won't take them for granted. i miss you so much; you don't even know... i do love you... i know those words are strong, but that's how much of an impact you placed in this heart of mine. but all in all, i wish for your happiness... if i do have to fade these feelings i am holding by a string, the image of your love will never waiver in these eyes of mine... i will always wish upon the stars set inside your beautiful eyes... i will always feel warmth from your glowing smile... i will always feel soothed and calm by your sweet voice... and most of all, i will never forget the presence i have come to know and cherish. thank you... and much love to you. if it happens, it happens... but i'll do my best to never change my title to you as a friend...
posted by J-Rard at 3:53 AM